One of my friends sent me a link to view cardboard testimonies , and I found myself crying as I watched the men, women, and children come across the platform with their cardboard signs. It was so beautiful to be reminded of God's grace in the midst of something that seems impossible.
Oh who am I that Your merciful eyes should fall on me
A sinner a fool, who doesn’t deserve You
And what am I that you’d offer Your life and die for me
What can I do, I’m nothing without You, I’m nothing without You
I’m nothing without You my love, my saving love
So I fall into You, I’m desperate and weak
Crying out from my heart, take all of me
How can it be that the heart of my God would long for me
For all that You do, Jesus I love You, I’ll Always Love You
Jesus I love You with all of my heart
Maker of sun and moon and stars
I throw myself into Your arms, into Your arms
"Once again, this is a song examining the relationship between the holy and the defiled. It questions why God would even want to have a relationship with that, something we’ll probably never fully understand. I love that even after questioning our unworthiness, the chorus says “and we fall back into Him.” I love how that even my lack of understanding Him makes me desire to go deeper in my relationship with God." - Phil Wickham
Sometimes sin creeps into my life, and I feel as though it is a boa constrictor that has encircled me and won't let go or like a thread that has entangled itself around every aspect and part of my life where I sit and examine how in the world to untangle the mess that is before me. I am condemned by my thoughts, condemned by my actions, condemned by my sins, YET never condemned by my God. He sets me free. He promises to do that, but it is up to me to believe that and humbly bring those sins before Him and ask Him for forgiveness and the grace that He so lavishly extends to me. It is up to me to ask for truth, to believe that truth, and to ask Him to speak directly to my unworthy heart. This song reminded me that although, yes, I am unworthy... God loves me and holds His arms open wide asking me to fall back into His arms.
"Shadowfeet"
Walking,stumbling on these shadowfeet toward home,a land that i've never seen I am changing: less and less asleep made of different stuff than when i began and i have sensed it all along fast approaching is the day [CHORUS] when the world has fallen out from under me I'll be found in you, still standing when the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees when time and space are through I'll be found in you Theres distraction buzzing in my head saying in the shadows it's easier to stay but I've heard rumours of true reality whispers of a well-lit way [CHORUS] You make all things new [CHORUS] [CHORUS 2] When the world has fallen out from under me I'll be found in you, still standing Every fear and accusation under my feet when time and space are through I'll be found in you
I find myself in a land of absolute beauty... I love the color green, and it seems as though everywhere I turn, I am blessed with a glimpse of varying colors.. or light green gleaming from the tall grass which hides the animals in the bush to the jungle green colors of the trees lining the red dirt roads to the glimmer of green from the maize as it grows amidst the mud huts. Cows, goats, chickens, and ducks walk proudly in the middle of the roads as do people on bicycles, people carrying sticks and large logs on their heads and boda bodas (motorcycles), which are the transportation of choice. The people have such beautiful hearts.. such kind spirits.. always greeting you with an Acholi way of thank you.. thank you for being here.. you are most welcome. It is something that is quite special about these people.
Everywhere I go, I hear people shouting, "Mono, Mono," which is gringa .. or white person.. some kids even run away in fright of seeing someone with white skin as it is not very common in the villages where I work everyday. Some even burst out wailing and crying! Others run right into my arms and lift up their tiny hands with a huge grin asking me in the Acholi language to be held, so I quickly lift them up and swing them around and listen to their sweet laughter feeling as blessed as I could possibly be.
I've learned the numbers in Acholi as a result of my tutors, my lovely children who laugh at my attempts to learn and speak in their language. I'm also learning the greetings, and find myself learning how to be Ugandan, which means holding the person's hand for a long while as you ask them about their day.. usually 5 questions about their day before going on your way. I love how time is not important and relationships with the people are. You spend time getting to know people's hearts and when you work, you work alongside people.. it is social.. it is sharing experiences.. it is doing life with others. It is beautiful.
I've learned how to wash intestines.. how to clean out the red particles that come out of the "hair" from the intestines, how to separate rice and cook it in large pots, saw a baby being born on a teacher's desk by someone who had no instruments and had to use a child's pair of scissors to cut the umbilical cord. I've learned that surrendering means turning my hands up to God and then upside down so that I can't grab onto it again. I've learned that kindness flows out of one's heart, and generosity is something that means more than what I have in my pocketbook.. it is a smile.. or a laugh.. or me, just walking hand in hand with a child or carrying a child who is stark naked and has just peed all over my skirt:) Beauty is something that is hidden but is seen when your eyes are opened to what God sees as beautiful.Community is something that is precious and is a gift from God. God is good. all the time. Love flows out from a heart that is filled with God's amazing unconditional and never-ending love.. one that is constant and does not judge according to how one performs .. but simply because he or she is made by the Creator to be loved by Him.
While living in Venezuela, I came across a fruit called parchita, which I quickly came to love and bought it whenever I found it. Upon returning to the States and not being able to track it down in Iowa, I decided that I needed to move to a place where it was found EVERYWHERE... Honduras:) Called by a different name, maracuya, I quickly fell in love with this fruit all over again. I returned to the States determined to find the fruit or some sort of substitute. My pleas were answered one lovely June day when it appeared next to other juice boxes...I couldn't contain my excitement as a I rushed home with it excited to share it with everyone so that they could experience it for themselves. What I didn't know was that I would only be able to find this one other time that year... once! ... What I didn't know is that God would provide another opportunity tonight:) As I searched through the aisles for a few items for one of my roomies, I noticed a familiar design on one of the juice containers... I stepped closer, my eyes not believing what I was seeing... there at the back of the line, was my juice! There was only one box, and it was about to become mine:)
Sometimes you may think that God doesn't think about the little things... but what is truth is that He cares about you, He cares about me. He cares about our loves, our dislikes, our passions, our dreams. He knows everything. He knows us completely... which is why finding one box of maracuya today while shopping at the store is such a gift. It is something I love. Something I truly enjoy. Something that gives me great joy... and He provided it for me:) That is something that will bring a smile to my face for quite a long time as I remember that He gave me such a beautiful gift today.. one that I will treasure for a long time.
To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak.~a Hopi Indian saying
On Sunday evening I traveled with some friends to Lake Robbins for a night of dancing. I had heard about this amazing gem of a place hidden deep in farm country amidst the barns and fields of corn. As we arrived, I saw before me an old white building illuminated with twinkling white lights. As the doors were opened for us, we were transported into another world.. to the 30's or 40's where men and women danced the waltz and the fox trot, the tango and the cha cha. The dance floor was filled with older gents and gals twirling and gliding along in perfect beat as the musicians played in the background. We skirted around the outside edges, and were immediately welcomed by the older couples who called us "the kids" ...
Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most beautiful of the arts, because it is not mere translation or abstraction from life; it is life itself. ~Havelock Ellis
We were befriended by the older gents and their ladies who had countless stories to share with us about love, life, and the joys of their lives. 70-80 year olds took to the dance floor like pros on the arms of their husband or wife with whom they had been married to for 50+ years! The twinkle in their eyes said it all... they loved each other far more now than they had when they married countless years ago. As I watched them dance across the floor, gliding to the music and as we were swept across the dance floor with our feet barely touching the floor, I knew that this is where I was going to be spending more time among the people who had already taught me so much about joy, grace, beauty, and love. My heart began to sing a new song as it developed a love for this thing called ballroom dancing and the people who make it come alive.
I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
You have not given me into the hands of the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
Psalm 31:7-8
A beautiful friend sent this Psalm my way today, and as I read it, tears streamed down my face. Not tears of sadness or despair, but tears of joy as I realized and came to an understanding that my prayers are being answered by my Abba who sees me, who has watched over me, and who continues to stand right by my side and fight for me. He truly has set my feet in a spacious place.. full of possibilities, full of new adventures, full of hope, joy, forgiveness, grace, mercy, peace, and love. My heart rejoices and is filled with gratitude as I rest secure trusting in the One who sees all and knows far more than I could ever learn or grasp. Knowing that in Him, I will always find that He will set my feet on solid ground, in a spacious place filled with joy.
If you know the Word of God, you will know God's mind.
If you love the Word of God, you will know God's heart.
If you live the Word of God, you will be in God's will.
"Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders" (Deuteronomy 33:12).
What a beautiful picture of how God cradles us in His arms. What a wonderful truth: we are His beloved! What peace in those words: we are shielded all day long. He is trustworthy:) He is love. He is our protector. He is sovereign. He is my Abba, the One my heart loves.
